Cultivating Self-Awareness

Whenever I feel stressed, I know that it’s time to slow down. It’s almost as if my mind wants to run off in all sorts of directions. A bit right, a bit left, a bit up, and a bit down. It’s this constant confused movement. Constantly hurrying, but not getting anywhere. Stressed but never productive.

It takes awareness to notice. “Oh, it’s my mind again.” Then I slow down. I sit. I don’t do anything. And that scares my mind. And I keep on sitting. And that scares my mind even more…

Then thoughts come: All the things that need to be done. All that you have forgotten. All that you still need to fix. All the deadlines.

And I sit. I let all the fears, the sadness, the anger and grief come up. And I allow them to be there. Without judging it. Tears can come… so what? My whole body can shake with anger. So what?

There are no bad emotions, only bad reactions to emotions. The bad reactions happen then when we never feel those emotions, but suppress them until – at one point – the shit hit’s the fan. That’s dangerous. THAT IS irresponsible. That’s when we lose our sanity.

The endless run on the hamster-wheel doesn’t bring the hamster any further. The only way to get off is to slow down.

Never makes sense for the running hamster. But did you know, that some hamsters die on that wheel, because they are unable to stop?

Being “responsible” is often confused with total insanity.

There is a time to be on the hamster-wheel. It’s fun. It’s exciting. The dangerous thing is when we forget that one day we stepped on the wheel. And we wonder why we are running and not getting anywhere.

We all know best, when there is a time to stop. We know that we are running – even with our eyes closed.
Because our body tells us.

That’s the awareness that, I believe, we need to re-learn. To re-connect. Because if we have the awareness, the connectedness to ourselves, we know – what we want – and more importantly, what we need – always.

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