Dealing with Storms of Information

We live in stormy times. Waves of information crush us every single day. My mind, occupied. Running from one meeting to the other. In times of “wait”, my cellphone would feed me again. More food, more information. No matter how much, and no matter how relevant. It’s all better than not being… wait for it… bored.

News are shouting, trends are changing, privacy policies are updated.

And nobody can’t really keep up. Or can you?

Quantity seemed to have won over quality. We don’t read – we scan. We don’t engage – we are on the run. More is more.

Action pure. Those are the rules of the storm. – At least it’s not getting boring

But for how long will that be good for us?

Storms are needed sometimes. They are the sailors pride.

But to sit down, slow down and be intimate – had perhaps saved me so often from getting completely mad than there are cows in Switzerland (maybe not that much… but I hope you get my point)

Because I realize that only in times of stillness I have the capacity to clean my ship.

Your best friend

Imagine a friend that pokes you, discourages you and blames you most of the time.

When you’ve done something great – she expects more of you.
When something went wrong – she attacks and humiliates you.

She tells you to stay small, tells you not to follow your dreams, tells you that you’re undeserving, ugly and incapable.

What kind of friend would that be? I’d never hang out with her.

Yet, a few days ago, I looked at the relationship I have with myself – And it astonished me when I asked myself: How well am I doing inside my own skin?

I mean – how well am I REALLY doing? By default – When I’m not aware.

It blew my mind when I realised that that “friend” in our head often acts no different than the one described above.

How powerful this question is: What kind of a friend am I to myself? Am I encouraging, empowering, uplifting? Or devastating, torturing and shaming – without even being aware of it?

It stuck with me to realize that I’d better be my best friend – because I have to hang out with that guy all the time.

It’s great to have uplifting and awesome friend in my life. Yet isn’t it fascinating that the way we feel inside our own skin has often much less to do with the outer circumstances – than with the way we treat and accept ourselves?

Just… thinking…

The good old times…

the good old times - old pictures - blogpost by sam ryter

How amazing it is to take a moment, and to look back to the good old times.

After a study of finding out what people were most likely to save in a fire, the researchers concluded that old photographs came right after the wallet, pets and … hold yourself … the IPhone.

Why have old photographs such a big meaning to us? They remind us to the good old times.

We love to look back. We seem to chuckle at our old struggles, challenges and frustrations. We were innocent. We didn’t know better. And when we look at an old picture; what usually stays with us is a good emotion.

One day we will look back at this time, where you live now, what you’re pursuing now, the struggles and challenges you’re facing now. You will be on the photo. And we will be nostalgic.

The good old times are now. What if we enjoy them now, face our challenges and struggles with compassion, and innocence. And move forward in the knowing that; we always try our very best to be happy.

Wishing you a great week.

Sam

Thank you Fancycrave for the photo!

Manifesting your dreams (if life was a restaurant) (2min read)

Imagine this; You’re in the best restaurant in town, and you order the meal of your choice.

The waiter immediately heads to the kitchen, and shares your order with the cook. The cook takes the potatoes, cuts the tomatoes, fries the onions and eventually puts them all together, to prepare your food.

But after 5 minutes you start to doubt and suddenly you are not sure if you will really get what you ordered.

Read moreManifesting your dreams (if life was a restaurant) (2min read)

If you want to find the treasure, you have to dig…

There’s a passage in “the Alchemist” of Paulo Coelho that I’d like to share with you today:

“That’s the way it always is,” said the old man. ” It’s called the principle of favorability. When you play the cards first time, you are almost sure to win. Beginner’s luck.”

“Why is that?”

“Because there is a force that wants you to realize your destiny; it whets your appetite with a taste of success”

It took me a second read a few years later until I understood it better.

Most things turn out to be easy, effortless, light – just in the beginning. As if it was a sign for you, that you are on the right path.

Yet, if we want to pursue the path of mastery, there’s always a time of challenge, a time of slow or no-progress. A plateau. It’s just how things are. We start to question, and often even doubt as we expect our progress to be linear.

But as our emotions and circumstances so is life unpredictable. Not linear. Challenges will come along as soon as we commit and go deeper.

They are not here to hinder you. They are here to forge you. To help you grow and expand. The times before the breakthrough are the hardest.

It’s tempting to play the game on the surface, but if you want to find the treasure, you have to dig…

On victims and complainers (1min)

I get you: It’s easy to play the “poor me”, because the poor me generally is the victim, and the victim always finds someone or something to blame. The poor me swims in lethargy – and she loves it.

Complaining is easy won attention by others. And often the victim rather chooses to stay that way – because it’s comfortable and doesn’t take any responsibility or willpower to earn love.

“Positive” people have it easier. Why? Because they choose to see the good. No wonder they are more open, more friendly, more intimate, content, lucky… happy.

We attract what we are. It has nothing to do with denying the shit. But with making the best out of it.

Now: If we tend to embark on the empowering or the disempowering road is nothing more than a habit. A pattern of the brain. Often inherited by parents or other influencers through our childhood.

And changing that habit simply needs practice, effort and a willingness to take life into your own hands.

(But likely, this step is already too scary for the victim. Because how could I justify my situation without having anyone to blame?)

Shit happens. So what? It’s life. Acknowledge it, reflect, be pissed for a moment, learn – and make the best out of it.

You have this life. And it was gifted to you (by whom and if that’s true, I don’t know – and I don’t care, because it’s an empowering thought.)

Being the victim might serve you for a while. But be careful – it’s a road that gets lonelier the longer you travel it.

How much positivism is too much?

There’s a counter trend to the “positive-thinking”-cult. “The negative thinking”-cult.

Their arguments: “Positive thinkers deny reality.

“They are right, hyper-positivism can be a form of denial. Denial of obvious factors in your life that need correcting.

But so can be negativism.

In the end: It’s an energy game.

Denial inhibits energy, while realistic acknowledgement of the truth releases it.

So instead of having the focus and battle between “positive” and “negative”, rather look at which thought, lifestyle, behavior is empowering or disempowering to your long term growth.

It’s a personal responsibility of each of us. You’re the master on where you place your focus on.

Is your attention, by habit, placed on what you don’t want? Or is it focused on what you appreciate?

A good question to ask.

Orgasms…

Who doesn’t want his or her partner to experience an orgasm? Especially men take the orgasm of a woman as an accomplishment that approves their worth of being a good lover.

Nothing wrong about that.

Yet, it is a dangerous game to play. A game with the potential to mess up everything.

We forget to make love, by pushing another person to an outcome.

If sex is only a success once a certain time is up, a certain amount of positions have been tested, and a certain amount of orgasms have been experienced then we’re not opting for love – but for fear, anxiety and stress.

Opting for love doesn’t have expectations. As the being together and here for each other is already healing. All that happens from this place becomes a dance. No mechanics but flow, and where there is a flow of energy, people tend to orgasm – naturally.

Sex can be a healing act – at the same time it can be deeply destructive.

Men and women have power – boys and girls use force.

Opt for love.

How can anyone claim to be a “sex-expert”?

“He’s a sex-expert”. I read this recently and had to laugh out loud.

How can anyone claim to be a “sex-expert”? I mean honestly:

What is your measure? The amount of orgasms, the statistical knowledge that you have, the education, the duration, the partners you slept with?

The fact that you’re claiming to be a “sex expert” alone proofs that you have no freaking clue about what’s really going on.

It is as if the Dalai Lama would claim to be an enlightenment-expert.

Some of you have already noticed: “Expertise” is a concept. And can only be claimed by the mind. And the mind, as we know it, has its barriers.

If sex was solely about the mind, then let me tell you this: We are all sex experts. Because we are born to fuck each other. That’s how we survive, since we were monkeys.

It’s not ethics. It’s biology.

And it’s really not a big deal.

Teaching this to people is like teaching dogs to bark.

Yet, all those who do not solely use sex as a tool to make babies but to experience deep intimacy, to make love, to open the heart and to lift each other up – know that “expertise” is a joke. Because this one is not about learning more concepts, but about losing them.

It’s really not about “ways to make him or her aroused” or “the secret spots to touch”. This garbage was invented by an industry that took profit of a confused society.

“Expertise” in an area of sex or making love is an idea created by the mind, that isn’t capable to go anywhere beyond robotic tasks. Not what most of us are really looking for.

Because we are human. We have a longing to deeply connect to each other.

We don’t need more experts and concepts. We need an open heart. And an open heart doesn’t care about “the secret spots”… It knows.

There needs to be less focus on sex as an abstraction with a goal, and more attention on actually enjoying the moment with each other.

Love is simple. Too simple for the mind to understand.

Trusting the muse

Have you ever messed something up completely. And then somehow, it led you to an opportunity that you might have never encountered, if you wouldn’t have messed it up in the first place?

It’s hard to tell whether a “mess up” is bad or good. It usually takes a bit of time to realize that it all had its place on your journey of growth.

What we already know: We will screw it up again – whatever way it will be next time.

Judging your actions as bad and stupid afterwards – is simply self-inflicting pain – which is, in fact, stupid.

Truth is; we never quite know, what life has in store for us instead.

Are you willing to trust? Are you willing to follow your heart? And are you willing to mess it up again?