Thought Habits and Happiness

We – usually from parents – learn to think in a certain way about things. We adopt a thought-pattern, that plays in the background – subconsciously.

Your thought patterns affect your happiness. They even affect the way you react to certain things. Little things. You are what you think. And based on your thinking, you develop a certain personality.

According to the years of studies of Joe Dispenza; thoughts influence your emotions. Your emotions affect your behaviour. Your behaviour – over the long run – affects your personality. Your brain literally changes.

How interesting. We can change who we are. By changing our thoughts.

Now, trying to change your emotions or your behaviour in an instant is a master’s task and many have failed, given up and lost hope.

Rather start at the beginning of the query. Start where you have power – start with your thoughts. And realise that we always, every moment have the choice of thought.

You attract what you are. And your default thought responses – if you are aware of them or not – brought into manifestation what you’re experiencing now.

Do you want to grow? Or change something? Be aware and change your thoughts.

We can always, in every moment, choose thoughts that are empowering us. As we do that long enough, they will affect, our emotions, our behaviour. Until, over time, it becomes our new thought-pattern. Our new habit of thinking.

As you change, your reality will change.

My suggestion:

Start small. Thought by thought. I’ve been witnessing many lives changing the past 3 years.

Be aware of your thoughts. The ancient traditions would call it “mindfulness”. Know that you have the power to change. Thought by thought, in every moment.

My 7 golden areas for a balanced life (4min read)

Today, I wanted to share with you the 7 golden areas for a balanced life. After a hard breakup in 2016 I struggled with emotional pain, self-doubts, unhappiness and a general lack of energy. Looking back, I realise that there’s never been a challenge without a gift for me. It was back then when I, after hours of daily-journaling, I came up with the “golden 7”.

The golden 7 are the 7 areas in my life I need to nourish in order to have a balanced, fulfilled life. When I feel a sense of dissatisfaction and unhappiness in my life, I look at the 7 areas and see what area I’ve been dismissing.

To me, all of them are important. And the balance is key. In times of longer low-moods it’s usually good to slow down, go over all areas and ask myself the following questions:

Read moreMy 7 golden areas for a balanced life (4min read)

On victims and complainers (1min)

I get you: It’s easy to play the “poor me”, because the poor me generally is the victim, and the victim always finds someone or something to blame. The poor me swims in lethargy – and she loves it.

Complaining is easy won attention by others. And often the victim rather chooses to stay that way – because it’s comfortable and doesn’t take any responsibility or willpower to earn love.

“Positive” people have it easier. Why? Because they choose to see the good. No wonder they are more open, more friendly, more intimate, content, lucky… happy.

We attract what we are. It has nothing to do with denying the shit. But with making the best out of it.

Now: If we tend to embark on the empowering or the disempowering road is nothing more than a habit. A pattern of the brain. Often inherited by parents or other influencers through our childhood.

And changing that habit simply needs practice, effort and a willingness to take life into your own hands.

(But likely, this step is already too scary for the victim. Because how could I justify my situation without having anyone to blame?)

Shit happens. So what? It’s life. Acknowledge it, reflect, be pissed for a moment, learn – and make the best out of it.

You have this life. And it was gifted to you (by whom and if that’s true, I don’t know – and I don’t care, because it’s an empowering thought.)

Being the victim might serve you for a while. But be careful – it’s a road that gets lonelier the longer you travel it.


Who doesn’t want his or her partner to experience an orgasm? Especially men take the orgasm of a woman as an accomplishment that approves their worth of being a good lover.

Nothing wrong about that.

Yet, it is a dangerous game to play. A game with the potential to mess up everything.

We forget to make love, by pushing another person to an outcome.

If sex is only a success once a certain time is up, a certain amount of positions have been tested, and a certain amount of orgasms have been experienced then we’re not opting for love – but for fear, anxiety and stress.

Opting for love doesn’t have expectations. As the being together and here for each other is already healing. All that happens from this place becomes a dance. No mechanics but flow, and where there is a flow of energy, people tend to orgasm – naturally.

Sex can be a healing act – at the same time it can be deeply destructive.

Men and women have power – boys and girls use force.

Opt for love.

Your giving is great, but can you also receive?

The whole world talks about giving. At best: Unconditionally.

And we focus all our energy on giving. Giving. Giving.

Give and you shall receive, is what they say

The question is: Are you also open to receive?

Or do you blame and shame yourself for it? – As if it was unethical to receive.

And we deny others willing to help us. In the office as well as in the bedroom.

Giving without receiving interrupts the circuit as much as receiving without giving.

The ones who always and only “give” but never receive – are not a cent better than the ones that just come to take.

Water that doesn’t move becomes poison. Both extremes are deadly. You want to flow, and the circle to be closed.

Therefore we need both to be alive.

“There’s no good and ba…” – SHUT UP!

There's no good and bad... shut up - blog by sam ryter

“There is no good and bad”

Have you heard that sentence before?

Me too. I’ve used it. I believe, too many times.

I think, I was right though (despite the fact that I had no idea what I was talking about. But it sounded good.)

“There is no good and bad”: If on the “highest” level there is just “oneness”, yes, then there is no good and bad…

Congratulations: We are spiritual now.

Oneness at the same time means nothing. (If all there was, was the color yellow – how would I ever know what yellow is? It exists, but it doesn’t.)

So why would ANYONE care then?

Saying that there’s no good and bad is like saying there is no black and white, there is no feminine and masculine, there is no hot and cold.

Suddenly nothing matters anymore… Not your love, not your care, not your kindness. Nothing.

And yes, perhaps nothing matters at all.

But I don’t care. Because I still believe there’s something human within me that CARES.

Saying “nothing matters” – as enlightened it sounds – is such an easy way to excuse yourself for not living your life, for not facing your fears, for not going for what you desire. It’s called “spiritual bypassing”.

I agree – I want to experience love too. But how can I learn about love, if all there is… is love…? (Again, it exists… but at the same time it doesn’t…)

Desires, preferences, challenges were somehow given to us. How insane it would be to deny them (speaking of resistance)…

Denying our humanity doesn’t make anyone more spiritual. It drives people insane.

And perhaps there’s a reason why the ancient yin and yang symbol consists out of black and white… and not just a boring circle of nothing.

We are here, in a world of contrast. Of black and white, of good and bad. It’s a mess and shit happens (that’s a spiritual quote). But god, how beautiful it is to HAVE THIS CONTRAST, to learn from each other, to accept the challenges, to feel the emotions, to experience the ups and the downs. to laugh. Or all together summarized: To be alive.


Thanks Jared for the picture 😉

The weapon against problems

It’s in the struggle where we tend to lose the lightness and the perspective. Instead we “zoom in” – as much as we can. No wonder the problem then appears to be gigantic.

All that’s sometimes needed is a bit of distance. A few hours, days, weeks usually help.

But over all those hours I’ve struggled, suffered, stressed there was one thing I habitually forgot: Humor.

Humor is the medicine for your well being and against anxiety and stress. Like time, it pulls you away from the microscope, and let’s you see the bigger picture. And when we see the bigger picture, those tiny little problems don’t bug us as much anymore. Instead of being slaves to the problems, we become superior to them – finally…

It’s counter-intuitive to have a laugh in front of a monster. And so it is to be humorous when we’re struggling. But that’s just because you haven’t tried the weapon yet. Try it, humor makes monsters shrink.

There’s a quote that I’ve picked up somewhere: Angels fly because they take themselves lightly.

The top 5 regrets of the dying

For many years Bronnie Ware worked in palliative care. Her patients were those who had gone home to die and she was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

What she noticed: People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. (Have you ever truly faced your own?)

She eventually wrote a book “The Top Five Regrets Of The Dying”. Here are the 5 most common regrets summarized:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

We live a life where death is so foreign to us. Yet, next to birth, death is one of the most natural happenings in life. As abnormal as it sounds, but one day: YOU WILL BE RECYCLED.

And we better face these truths before it’s too late. What makes your life worth living?

If you would die today, what would be your greatest regret? And which of the top 5 regrets speaks most to you (1-5)?

Click on the post and comment below.